Big Sisters

My sister L is 4 weeks out of her proph. mastectomy and doing really well. I don't know how she does it. She really makes it look like she went to get a super easy procedure and you're totally fine a week after. I know this isn't the case. I know she struggles with the decision and with the long recuperation. I wish I had gone first so I could have some idea of what she's going through. Unfortunately, as a big sister often does, mine leads the way. She tests the trails ahead, then comes back to hold my hand through the bumpy road. I keep thinking back to when she told me she tested positive for BRCA. As I had mentioned in a previous post, we were doing the Susan G Komen Breast Cancer walk and there were tons of people around including family. She mentioned that she called me the night before, but as usual, my phone was dead. Then she told me she tested positive for BRCA. I felt bad for her. I felt empathy. But I thought, okay it's not breast cancer though. You get your breasts and ovaries removed and you're done. No biggy. I remember telling her I was sorry but at least we knew now. I didn't comfort her. I didn't call her afterwards to ask her how she felt. I can't help but feel incredibly guilty. Flash forward to my test results and I was devastated. I cried. I moped. I hid under the blankets. My sister L hugged me and told she was so sorry. She said I know how you feel, it felt like they were telling me I had breast cancer again. I let her comfort me and nurse my wounds. The next day I called in sick for work and slept the entire day. L came by to check on me but I didn't hear the doorbell because I was sleeping. She texted my husband to make sure I was okay. This is what L does. She nurtures. She understands. She bends over backwards to make you feel better.

My eldest sister G is no exception. She's the most like my mom. She worries. She worries about all of us. Not just about our physical health, but our mental and spiritual health too. When I feel sick or I'm not sure what's going on with some symptom I have, I text G and she tells me what to do. Before L's surgery G arranged for a family friend of ours who is a priest to come and do a personal mass for L at my parents. Now she is arranging the same for me this weekend.

The bottom line is, I'm beyond lucky to have such amazing sisters. They make me part of who I am. I will always want to copy them and be like them, just as little sisters do. I love you two.